Quotes From Steel Magnolias

Here is a list of my favorite quotes from the most quotable movie of all time, Steel Magnolias.

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Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.
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Truvy: Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin’ across your face.
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Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.
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Clairee: All gay men have track lightin’. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.
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Truvy: There’s so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.
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Shelby: Relax! You can’t screw up her hair. Just tease it and make it look like a brown football helmet.
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Shelby: Remember what Daddy always says—an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!
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M’Lynn: Drum would never, ever point a gun at a lady.

Ouiser: Oh! He’s a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it!
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Ouiser: I have got to talk to M’Lynn about her husband. He is a boil on the butt of humanity.
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Clairee: Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket.(observing the new mayor’s wife dancing)
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Truvy: I don’t trust anybody that does their own hair. I don’t think it’s normal.
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Ouiser: This is football. All people care about are touchdowns and injuries. They don’t give a damn about that grape sh*t.
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Truvy: Sammy’s so confused he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
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Ouiser: I’m not crazy M’Lynn. I’ve just been in a bad mood for the last 40 years!
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Ouiser: Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you’re satisfied.

Annelle: I suspected this all along!

Ouiser: Oh! Well don’t you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin’ God-only-knows-what! They’d probably make me eat a live chicken!

Annelle: Not on your first visit!

Clairee: Very good, Annelle! Spoken like a true smart-ass!
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Truvy: I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence.
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Clairee: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.
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Ouiser: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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Truvy: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
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Ouiser: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
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Clairee: Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!
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Shelby: I'll have some sweet tea.
Truvy: House wine of the South, comin' up!